Insanity

"Are you insane?"... external voices
"Am I going nuts?" ... my inner voice
Am I calling out? Am I a recluse? Am I sane? Or am I close to the edge of insanity?

"Life's full of possibilities" ... they always say
"of good and bad" ... they always forget

"You look awful!" ... they exclaimed
"That's supposed to be the way for the walking dead."

"Are you all right?" ... they always ask
"Yah... I'm fine" ... coz that's the answer they want

"Are you sure?" ... they question
"Then why ask me in the first place?"

Questions... accusation... horror... withdrawal
Which of it do you represent? Which of these will you react if I'm to give you an answer other than "fine"?

"Com'on. Don't be so pessimistic." ....
"Will do."
But how does that change the way things are?

Am I the one living in reality? Or am I the one transported into the world of recluse?

Are you, the one who shuns away from negative thoughts, the recluse?

Or am I, the one who voice out the darkness I felt, the one blending in with the dark?

My heart palpitates abnormally at times... times when I felt it pumping so hard that I thought I could sleep forever from the next second... times when I thought its abnormal rate was to catch up what it's going to miss in the years that it will never see... times when I pray silently for myself...

What's stopping me...
I pray that I will know... some day.

Will my regret forgive me?
Never will... I guess....

Then what's left of me?